Collective Memories
Hilary touched so many lives in a positive manner and here we share the memories her many friends have provided to help others understand why Hilary was loved so much and brought so much light and fun with her mischievous humour.
For those who find themselves on these pages but never had the privilege of meeting Hilary, we hope you will discover a little insight into a special woman that left us all far, far too soon.
Memories from Castle Camps
I remember that it was not unusual for Glynis and Hilary to avail them selves of each others pantry. Eggs, milk and miscellaneous groceries of all kinds, would pass back and forth over the garden fence. But the proverbial biscuit was taken on the day that Glynis’s cooker went kaput. Normally not really a problem considering the availability of take-aways. But, on this particular day it was a major problem because Glynis had half a dozen family coming over for dinner.
What to do? What to do? Solution. Pass raw food over the fence, Hilary cooks it. Cooked food comes back over the fence. Job done. How many people can be fortunate enough to have such wonderful neighbours and friends.
Frank and Glynis Terrill
Time to eat cake – My memory of Hilary
Every time I bake a cake and often when I eat cake, I think of Hilary.
She once told me a tale of a beautiful cake she baked… so lovely in fact she thought she’d try a piece and then another, and another! It got to the point where she’d eaten so much of it there was not enough left for the family to share. So… Hilary’s simple solution, eat the rest of the cake and bake another one!
A special, funny lady,
Hilary, I’ll still think of her when I bake a cake! xx
Love from Rosie Campbell
We remember Hilary and Graeme’s first two dogs. Two large red setters named Toffee and Pepper. Toffee and Pepper were quite boisterous animals and it took discipline and patience to control them.
Not a problem for Hilary because she was equipped with a pair of Scholl shoes. The heavy wooden, practical garden type of Scholls. Whenever the dogs were in the garden and needed to be disciplined or brought under control, Hilary’s throwing skills would be superb and accurate, much to the surprise of either Toffee or Pepper.
Frank and Glynis Terrill
I remember Hillary driving along the M11 motorway when suddenly a “My Little Pony” was ejected by one of the girls from the car unexpectedly. “My Little Ponies” were held in high regard at the time. They were in fact treasured possessions to little girls almost every where. Undeterred by the speeding traffic and the obvious risk to life and limb and doubtless encouraged by the screams and wailing of the children, Hilary brought the car to a speedy halt, exited the car and ran back along the carriage way to rescue the abandoned toy.
What a hero, not just a mum.
Frank and Glynis Terrill
Memory from USA
Janice Morrisey, her American Comrade in Arms
Memories from Depden
Kim and Rod Harrison
Hil and Grae decided to come over to our house at Depden for the afternoon with the girls, pre Jonty.
The girls badly wanted to go in the pool but it was raining. Regardless we all decided we would all go in. However, Hil would only go in if she could have an umbrella as she didn’t want to get her hair wet.
As you can see Hil spent her time standing under the umbrella, typical Hil sense of humour!
Kim and Rod Harrison
Memory from Stoke by Clare
That was the first occasion I felt I was honourably entered into Hilary’s Moron Magnet Hall of Fame. In following months the story evolved and the size of the spoon grew with each re-telling.
The next time we went round for dinner, Hil asked us to take our places at the table while she went to get the first course from the kitchen, and I asked whether there was any special place she’d like us to sit. She said I’d know when I got there. There on the table, while everyone else’s cutlery was laid out normally, at one place the dessert spoon had been replaced by a large soup ladle. I knew where to sit.
Garry Paxton
A Message from Greenwich ( via Orlando )
I only have happy fun memories of Hilary. She was my best friend for over 40 years.
We met when I was 20 turning 21. She always relayed the story of when we first became friends. It was my 21st birthday and we both worked for Wells Fargo Bank London. As was the tradition I invited everyone in the branch for a drink at lunch time to celebrate, but even though I was the birthday girl I had to return to the office early to cash up as I was the teller for the branch. We always laughed about the fact that even though it was my birthday everyone else got to celebrate!
Not long after that we became fast friends as we worked in the same department. I like to think we worked hard, but also played hard, often going for a sandwich and a bottle of wine at lunchtime (you could do that back then!).
There are plenty of memories at the ‘Setters’ Castle Camps both pre and post children. I was always so proud that I was asked to be God Mother to Hill’s & Graeme’s first born (Nicola). This just cemented the bond.
You always knew if you went out with Hilary you would end up being the fool or being made the fool (in the nicest of ways), you could not help but have fun with her.
One of the best times was the ‘Tiara’ tour in Florida when five women took over Orlando. We laughed and laughed and had great fun and literally wore our tiaras out to dinner every night. As you can imagine became quite the talk of the town with Hilary telling anyone who would listen that she and I were part of the royal family, hence the tiara’s. So many couldn’t really tell if she was being serious or not!
I will certainly miss my friend and confidant with her mischievous smile but it has certainly been a blast! xx
Hilary Cole, Greenwich
A Letter from Haarlem
Dear Hilary,
It’s Ellen and Mark here, you know, the Dutchies. As you decided to suddenly pack and leave to the other side, we thought, we write you a little note, as there is so much left to say.
Let me refresh your memory: Graeme and I have been bumping into each other over and over again during the course of our careers. We worked both at Wang Computers but never knowingly met at our Brussels based European head-office. We may have exchanged several emails, but that’s it. After that, I started working for GE and it was only after at least twelve years that we bumped into each other again at FICO in London. I got to know you for the first time, when Graeme took ill, I think it was around 2010, but I am not sure. After trying to call Graeme’s number several times, we met the first time (voice only) and given the situation we had serious talks, but eventually also more cheerful conversations. I think we spoke every third day, all the way until Graeme’s recovery. Ellen and I tried to become creative in our questioning, as after all, we were interrogating you about the recovery progress to date. Questions like: how is my big friend doing, any news from the big boy, and any thinkable variation on that.
Then, a couple of years later, when you and Graeme went on a field trip to Amsterdam, Ellen and I really wanted to meet my big friend’s soulmate. We invited you to Haarlem, where Ellen and I have been living since our return from Canada.
We had dinner at our beloved restaurant called ML. Ellen all dressed up, after all, my business associates were visiting (yes, you). She was pleased to see you arrive in a much more casual outfit. That immediately set the scene. We had a fantastic dinner there and as to be expected ML got their first Michelin star four weeks later. They still have their Michelin star today and we were hoping to take you there again after the corona misery ended.
I think you agreed that Haarlem is the small version of Amsterdam, equally old and in fact the capital of the province were Amsterdam sits in. Your next trip over to Haarlem, was to stay with us in our house for the first day and then off to Antwerp (Belgium) for a stay at our beloved Hilton Hotel right in the city centre of Antwerp. We had a fantastic dinner there in a restaurant that is called “the saving angel” (de reddende engel).
And of course the wander around the thousands of shops in this harbour city of Belgium.
Ellen and I both loved your pink Uggs, which you also were wearing when we went to the Keukenhof, the annual flower exhibition, just 10 minutes south of Haarlem. Millions of flowers are on display, while actually they are growing new seeds for next year’s harvest. You simply could not get enough of these, and it was great fun walking around there, although your better half was more engaged with the coffeeshops then the flowers. I got that impression at least.
You were observing the large flowers, like this big one, as if they were from another planet. (it really is a single flower, 4 feet tall). The walk around was endless and it was good we went in early that day (like 08.00 in the morning) as we at least had the space to look around before the mass of the 100,000 visitors a day begun to arrive.
You found it really funny, when I put on the large wooden shoes at this exhibition.
And Graeme visited us a few times more for business purposes of course, where we were hard at work all day long. Like here at the beach, where we were doing our meeting preparations. You know this place, as you, Graeme, Ellen and I went there for lunch the last time you came to the Netherlands. We had Curry Lentil soup. When you told us later, you really liked it, we went back and asked for the recipe. You should have it in your files somewhere.
When Graeme was over, the focus was always on business, as you can imagine. We ate only, when necessary, hardly worth mentioning. Small sandwiches. Or a small evening dinner, purely on a need’s basis.
We did go now and then when we were really hungry to an Indonesian Restaurant Where they serve a dish called “traditional Rise Table” where they put 20+ different dishes on your table for tasting only. But other than that, it was always hard work.
Although we met regularly on Skype, Zoom or whatever means we used to talk to Graeme, with you frequently dropping into the background, we feel we have yet to tell a thousand stories. And of course all inspired by you, your presence and your endless joy to be around.
Thank you for that, thank you for all the fun we had, and we can’t wait until we meet again. Hence this short memory. Rest assured we will remember you as Graeme and I have already started to continue the gossip.
Ellen & Mark, Haarlem